I'd like to Teach the World to Trade

The first song written for The Nikado, was 'I'd like to Teach the World to Trade' - notably not a Gilbert and Sullivan song. It is based on the song "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing" by The New Seekers, and was originally a famous Coca Cola advert from the 1970s.

A full lyric for this was written by Heather Fletcher. The first part of this survives in the final lyric, and is very funny. However, the second part of the lyric was replaced by Simon Hedges with a call back to the opening of Niccolò Rising. This song was dreamed up at Cindy Byrne's house in Dublin, when Simon Hedges and Heather Fletcher stayed for the weekend to discuss the matter. Originally, the song was to be performed by the Judge, Jordan St Pol, but was later changed to be sung by TGWTWL as a prologue - a call back to the psuedo-narrator role played by TGWTWL at the start of The Spring of the Ram, and would be sung by Cindy Byrne, who could sing, rather than by Simon Hedges who played Jordan St Pol and could not sing.

Nikado Version	Heather Fletcher Version (original)	I'd Like To Teach World to Sing
I'd like to teach the world to trade In perfect harmony In kermes, gallnuts, indigo And lapiz lazuli. (the Jury start clicking the fingers of the their right hand at this point)	I'd like to teach the world to trade In perfect harmony In kermes, gall-nuts, indigo, And lapiz lazuli.	I'd like to build a world a home And furnish it with love. Grow apple trees and honey bees And snow white turtle doves.
I'd like to corner trading marts And spread accountancy With double-entry bookkeeping And ciphered secrecy.	I'd like to corner trading marts And spread accountancy With double-entry book-keeping, And ciphered secrecy.	I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I'd like to hold it in my arms, and keep it company
Jury:Venice to Cathay To Guinea all the way
And then the stacks of alum sacks Bring profit back to me Then ledgers tote the trading score The scales they weigh the gold As though no fool of either sex Will come to break the mould And treat trade Jury: TRADE! as just a game (the Jury members are now humming along) A trick with which to toy For Niccolo whose strange career I've watched to man from boy! But is the lad's career now done And has he had his day? A jury waits now to decide The trial is underway!	I'd post my staff to Trebizond adorning the Black Sea Where men & boys and clockwork toys charm aristocracy. Where princesses rouge nipples pink and love is offerred free And little girls have kinky whirls upon their bended knee. Where princes play Tzukanion, 'neath almond blossom tree There racing camels, burp and fart and stare down haughtily. And when my ship sails back to port with her inventory Of stacks and stacks of alum sacks - the profit comes to me. Jordan: I'd like to teach the world to trade In perfect harmony Sell spices sweet And sugar beet A loving family (aside) Just like my own!	C
A	B	C
A	B	C
A	B	C
A	B	C
TGWTWL		I'd like to see the world for once all standing hand in hand. And hear them echo through the hills for peace throughout the land. It's the real thing what the world wants today, That's the way it'll stay with the real thing. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. A song of peace that echoes on and never goes away. Put your hand in my hand let's begin today, With your hand in my hand help me find a way. I'd like to see the world for once all standing hand in hand. And hear them echo through the hills for peace throughout the land. I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. A song of peace that echos on, and never goes away. Songwriters B. BACKER, B. DAVIS, R. COOK, R. GREENAWA|-